In a Runner's Own Words

Many things are thrown our way when we experience a deep soul connection.  Some are not meant to be understood, they are meant to be experienced.  Acknowledging that, there is an aspect of the Twin Flame experience I feel called to study.  I’m referring to the concept of a “runner”.  Having no way to figure out what a ‘runner’ experiences was the single most difficult part of my own experience. I could not figure out how someone could have the same experiences and depth of feeling that I had and not see it as joyful.  I believe we can be educated about this and by doing so, we can better support both partners.

“Non running” partners will be helped by understanding what a ‘runner’ experiences and by receiving validation that the issues of a ‘runner’ have nothing personally to do with their partner.  On the flip side, by understanding what a ‘runner’ experiences, we can help them to maneuver through questions and fears about the connection. 

I my research I have seldom come across material that explains what a ‘runner’ experiences.  In the few cases I found, the information was written by a third party which was helpful but didn’t satisfy my desire to understand what a ‘runner’ experiences.

I’ve met several people who have experienced a high level soul connection and two or three who I believe have met their incarnated Twin Flame. It’s been recently that I’ve had the privilege of meeting people willing to share what it feels like to be a ‘runner’.  One of them is particularly enlightening as you will read. He describes the realization that perhaps it was not his soul connection but he who ran.  Deep thanks to both of you for giving me permission to share aspects of your story.  I am copying directly without edits.  These kind people are sharing with you because they wish to help others and I believe that is exactly what will happen.  I can feel the energy in their words and I know you will too.  This is transformative information and I am grateful beyond my ability to express. The way in which each share the raw intensity of what they have experienced is breathtaking.

From “L” a female in the U.S.:

my fears were.. too much too soon like it came on to strong  (him ,the situation) and i just couldn't handle it i didn't feel i was in a place of readiness and also i didn't think i was good enough for him not to mention he seems to be the ideal mate if i had to create him myself and it just could not be happening to me kinda felt like a dream not real it was happening to smoothly and too fast there was no fight or struggle ..that it! it was too easy my mind could not accept it

From “S” a male in Australia:

SHE IS THE RUNNER....or so I thought. I've had a lot of time to think about things now and the truth is every division was created by me. If there were no legitimate issues between us I would create one and you know what the most interesting thing is? - almost every time I caused an issue it was preceded by a positive moment or event that brought us closer together...go figure!

Next it would be "I'm sorry, I don't normally act that way" ha,ha,ha how many times I've offered that lame excuse to her.

What does it feel like? It feels like terror!
I takes away ALL CONTROL!
I feel helpless like a leaf in a caught in a tornado.
I resist because I cannot control it.
I'm a very, very guarded person and
all of the barriers I have created to protect myself my whole life are now threatened.

Whatever this connection is it will not allow these barriers. It takes them away and that terrifies me.

Who am I without them?

What will I be without them?

What if my heart learns to feel again?

Don't be angry at a runner.
They never meant to hurt anyone.
They just never expected to have to grow so very, very fast

It’s easy to understand the pain of the ‘non runner’ Twin/soul, right? It’s easy because everyone whether from a soul based relationship or not, knows what it feels like to be abandoned and/or ignored, pushed away and/or left.

As these two people have shared so poignantly, in a soul connection the person who appears to have ‘run’ is suffering as well. Everything they have known themselves or the world to be is in question.

My Twin articulated his fear similarly to how “L” explained. I asked him what was wrong when I sensed he was distancing himself (this was at the beginning of our physical relationship).  He said “Love isn’t this easy Moe- it doesn’t just get handed to you. You’re everything I’ve ever imagined… everything about you feels right.  I just didn’t know if you existed outside of my mind.  Even your house is perfect.  It’s the house I’ve pictured in my head all these years but I’d never actually seen. Things like this just don’t happen”.

Oh but they do.

So together we will support each other, the runners and the non runners.  We’ll support the non runners who become runners such as me in my current position.

The knowledge we glean from each other will help all of us work through our pain and questions and as we maneuver through, we will heal.

Then it will be on to our ultimate job which is to live as fully as ‘souls’ as we can while in these human bodies.  Our job is to bring joy, love, light and spiritual knowledge to the planet.

This is why we experience the pain and questioning that only these high level soul connections can bring.  To experience something fully, we MUST experience its opposite. We have much to look forward to.

Thank you “S” and “L” from all of us.

© Moe Wood 2010


What did you think of this article?


  • 4/16/2011 9:56 PM M Easting wrote:
    I have encountered my tf and it has been if not identical to the above account and it is very difficult and painful to have to walk away because someone pushes you away.
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  • 8/3/2011 10:43 AM Kathy wrote:
    I feel your pain. It's shocking when "the runner" just completely cuts you out of their life - projects their deepest and darkest stuff onto you and then tells you that you haven't done enough soul work. There are times when I don't know how to breathe for the pain of being so completely cut off from my Twin. I've finally started asking the questions "was this it for this lifetime...did I somehow misunderstand something and that we're not actually going to be together this time?" So much confusion and pain in the face of their fears and refusal to learn how to communicate with each other.
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  • 8/13/2011 7:11 PM stop running wrote:
    For insight on the twin flame experience from the perspective of the runner I suggest listening to siamese dream by smashing pumpkins. I believe that the entire album is a personal account of just that.
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  • 8/17/2011 6:30 PM Moe wrote:
    I tried to listen for ten seconds to a couple songs & couldn't take it.
    Not my thing... waaaay to loud.  So I wasn't able to hear what the lyrics say
    But in case it helps anyone else... thank you!

    Reply to this
  • 8/18/2011 3:45 AM Kathy wrote:
    I went and googled the lyrics to read - I didn't see any connections to the topic of runners and TF's at all...but maybe that's just me.
    Reply to this
  • 12/6/2011 11:10 AM enough wrote:
    John Lennon and Yoko were Twin Flames just listen to the music and they even almost look the same Lol.. my twin keeps pushing me away because she doesnt like if you dont like yourself how can you like someone who resembles you so closely.. she is the runner but she thinks i am the runner but she keeps pushing me away because she gets scared.. i have now ran because i cannot take her bad behavior anymore. to me we should be thankful for the people in our lives that try to help us.. hopefully she is well but for all you in the initial stages of the twin connection YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT. and after that you realize that all along while thinking they can make you whole.. the answers to make you a Whole soul are already inside of you and the search must ultimetly be inside yourself first because when you are happy with yourself and life then and only then can you make room for someone else in your life.. take pride in the fact that you were able to recognize the connection and want it because that means that you are a very advanced soul and your twin needs time to catch up.. good luck to all of you.. WHEN MEN AND WOMEN LEARN TO LOVE EACH OTHER AGAIN AND WHEN THE BATTLE OF SEXES IS OVER AND WE COME TOGETHER AS FREINDS AND LOVERS INSTEAD OF ENEMIES. THEN THE WORLD WILL CHANGE
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  • 1/11/2012 11:23 AM Rita Belle wrote:
    I have met mine too. We are no doubt the real deal.:o)~ I understand everything you are talking about. This is a great place to express this topic. Thanks!
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  • 3/9/2012 4:04 PM DreamWalker wrote:
    I feel I have met mine, there were WAY too many "coincidences" with how it all happened...almost down to the letter of my personal monologue I scripted about 1 hour before meeting this man--which was weird. It blew me away and still does how quick and smooth the connection was...but I think he's in the runner phase now. We had 3 wonderful weeks chatting and two "dates", our first, when we met and went on an impromptu date-that never happens like that anymore and spent a total of about 5 hours together before calling it a night. He left for job training for 3 weeks, so I didn't see him again until I drove 2 hours to see him where he was being kept until his training was over.

    Now he's been silent for a little over a week at this point. Things were amazing--some mind reading/words out of mouth stealing, total compatibility and mind blowing similarities.

    But I think it's still too soon for him, and the resemblance to his ex must be a bit strange--maybe he's trying to wrap his head around what he's most attracted to in me? I don't know, but I feel that he's still interested--oddly enough I feel sorta like I am taking on attributes/quarks of him, even at a distance--which tells me our connection is still there, despite not talking.

    How do you help a runner--or do you? Do they come back on their own? Do they come to terms with the situation and just show up? What sort of other associated behaviors can I have to look forward to?

    It doesn't help that after some more research I have found that I resemble his ex VERY much. I don't want to just be him trying to find elements of HER in ME...but maybe I changed my appearance to prep for our meeting--I'm a natural Blond and have been black haired for over a year now.
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  • 4/4/2013 4:12 AM NonRunner wrote:
    Hi, I so relate to what u said here:
    "I am taking on attributes/quarks of him, even at a distance--which tells me our connection is still there, despite not talking."

    I have known him for years as friend, when I shared my past relationship failing, is when he said he felt something for me. we started impronto long distance chat, over few weeks. I went to meet him different country, and he went all quiet and said he was scared most time. We had intimacy and he was negative in talking of things he wants me to work with. I too saw his dark side but was not harsh with him. I realised he is a runner, but did not try to explain or hold on to him, though it hurt to lose him as a friend even. Now i keep getting tempted to contact but holding back.

    I have uncovered things I need to work on but so does he. I m not judging him, but yes, I m finding myself becoming more like him.

    I wonder if I m becomign like him or if my talking social engaging busy self was just a way to protect my feelings and actually I m indeed quiet and reserved like him.

    He has complex past baggage he has to let go, as a friend I could have helped him do that but while dating, lines were drawn where all the supporting things I did for him for years, were actually seen as interfering while dating. I withdrew from my supportive self, but I could not relate to him yet the love and pain I feel is stonger despite no contact for so long.

    Is this cause I have known him long as friend or is he really my twin? I am confused, I do know that I dont see this as usual break up, I cant see myself changing me when with him, however I dont feel angry with him for the runner. I am bothered by rejection but still not wanting to give up on him.

    I am not tempted to talk to any other man with interest since, others have tried to date, but I dont feel nothing.

    Is this my runner twin or am I confusing my hurt?

    Also, have you found any progress since you posted here last?

    Thank you.
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  • 5/2/2013 11:05 PM Charlie wrote:
    This is the most moving article. When you meet your twin the feelings inside are insane, DEFIES all LOGIC. LOST and CONFUSED, something inside me said google soul mate. That is when I found twin soul. Like something was trying to help me find something; trying to tell me something. What you have just explained, truly is as if it came out of my own mouth. Minus, I can't speak about how my twin feels, as we are currently in the running stage. (or maybe preparing stage) Thank you for helping me realize I am not crazy because I don't know what to believe anymore. These intense feelings are like a tennis match in my head. I wish I could stop QUESTIONING everything! The evening was like any ordinary evening; no expectations of meeting anyone. Then the most BEAUTIFUL man entered my life. Completely RANDOM and NO friends in common. When I am with him it is like extreme warmth, everyone disappears and the only thing I can feel is my blood boiling with passion and my soul is about to jump out of my body. These INTENSE feelings. How is it I could feel this way about someone I don't even know. It was too easy without flaws. I was concerned because it had appeared there was no flaw. How is this possible. The universe gave me my wish; right out of my head. This is when things got complicated. I was running away but couldn't stay away. Eventually I don't know we both ran. Now I'm waiting for him to be guided to understand what I do. thank you for having this website. You gave me hope...
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  • 6/2/2013 7:02 PM nonrunner wrote:
    im currently undergoing that distinct pain of having to decide whether or not to let go of my soulmate/twin at this point. he is the runner. he ran at a point when we were getting so close. he has a girlfriend when we met and fell for each other, we continued on, it's impossible not to, with the surreal connection that we had. we're almost telepathic, despite living in two separate continents. he broke up with his gf soon after. i thought that was the chance we have been waiting for but then he got himself a new girlfriend, all of a sudden, without explanation, and is now having a child with her, after only two or three months of dating. i dont know what happened, as if i didnt exist. i hope more runners post their side of the story here as i am trying to understand why he ran away. if you're not ready then let's pause, but to go to another woman??? could anyone explain that? and then despite his relationship, he never lets me go, he goes into this pushing me then pulling me back. i definitely think i am going insane now! i dont understand where to place myself...if he pushes me away, i back off& prepare to leave, then he gets mad at me for not caring, so i come back into his horizon, then he does the exact thing that he knows will send me running away. sometimes i think he just checks if im still there or if i have left him. or maybe he just wants to throw me out. but then as soon as he knows im still there, he pushes me away. i cannot take the emotional rollercoaster anymore & it has taken a toll on me. i used to be really brave, and i have taken much more that life has thrown at me. but this, this just hurts too much.
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  • 10/19/2013 8:29 PM Lea wrote:
    I too am dealing with a runner and yet I played a part in the running as well. We have gone through the roughest crisis stage and I never dreamed he would have been able to hold on like he did. Things got bad. We broke up and two years later we got back together and got engaged. When we set a time to get married, I went into the bathroom and literally threw up. We had issues with my horrible ex and my children before and I was getting ready to go back to court to discuss custody. My children ended up hating him. Before I went to court I had a discussion with him because I will never give up my fight for custody. He wanted me to run away from it all. The first time we dated though he held my feet to the fire until I got them. We were so excited and when they came they were completely different children. We broke up. I lost them and now they want to come home. They didn't last time we went to court but their father is awful and I need to be prepared to take them any time and I was trying to press him on this issue. It caused him to run. He hates my ex and the control my ex had over his life and he can't see that he gave him that control. I posted something on face book the other day and I could tell that what I posted made my eldest daughter think we were getting back together. She cryptically gave me her blessing and she was the one who really hated him. I believe all three of my children are soul mates. Even though I don't have them we are deeply connected. They are victims of abuse and my family and ex has control of them. So, obviously I have a lot of baggage. When he has spoken to me he tells me he is conflicted about wanting to run so he never sees me again and the fact that he thinks of me every day of his life. I am in severe depression after losing my children and losing him. It is very hard to get back up and my ex and family won't leave the children and me alone. Their torture is terribly difficult on me. This is what is keeping us apart in my head and he already had commitment issues before we met. He has run twice and both times he has felt pushed by me and I felt deserted by him. I think of him many times every day and with everything I enjoy I am reminded of him. I met two men on line this week that I recognize from a past life and one is in the same position as I am. The other told me to reach back out to him as did a Tarot card reader. I did, however got no response. I think he may be having an affair. I know he does not love her like he loves me. She makes him feel safe though. She soothes him in a way I cannot. She also bores him and I know this. He wants out of my drama, however his is bored with anyone else because that conductions not there. I have basically let him go. I don't have proof he is seeing anyone. I just know he has seen this girl before and they are talking. I don't think his more sensible friends approve of the relationship. My gut tells me that he will be back. In the mean time I have tried to move on.
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  • 10/23/2013 2:25 AM found twin wrote:
    Hi Lea.
    I feel your pain as my twin too did a runner due to his fear for my kids and if he will be able to be there for me same way as he wanted initially. I told him his fears are mis founded as my kids do not need a father, however, he has his own kid with his late wife but needs to resolve his karmic with his second wife to end still.
    So while I address my fears over my kids and custody in my karmic relationship end, he has to do his stuff.
    I have progressed with no contact, as it has been easier to know what are my fears than mirroring his fears as well. Though others do progress with contact too and I can pick up phone anytime, but for now I have to fix my fears.

    I must say that the more honest I am being with my kids about my fears, the more freedom I am getting from my baggage. You must let of the guilt and fear too, you wanting love and relationship with your twin has nothing to do with you being a super mother. Embrace what you are and also that kids will grow up fine and have a good life, you must show them to love self and not confuse it with you being selfish.
    The less guilt you feel, the better.

    As you get closer to who you are, your twin will also get closer to his real self and having relationship on surface with others doesn't mean nothing, as we know how we have had kids with karmic relationships and now it amounts to nothing. So don't be insecure over your kids or twin, just love and accept yourself and believe you deserve a reunion and it will happen soon.

    Wish you good luck with your twin journey.
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  • 11/6/2013 1:53 PM Edwina wrote:
    Thank you so much. My twin is married. I think also he is seeing someone else as well on the job. We all work together. What a mess. We only say good morning and that is it. We no longer communicate. I am in the process of leaving. Looking forward to it.
    Reply to this
  • 11/7/2013 9:40 PM sylvia wrote:
    wow I am blown away thought I was going crazy there for a moment. I know in my heart that I found my twin flame though I try to deny it because of the intense pain he has afflicted me out of fear. When I met him I just knew and as we talked we relised that all of my life (he is thirty years older) that we have danced around each other. He knew also, but know when the tests come his pride, ego, and money had inflated and pushed me out of the way. The rejection I feel from him is like no other to the point of suicide, really! Thankfully I did not succeed! When I want to run I feel as if I am running from myself. His indifference, his negative words that kill the soul are harsh and untrue. We are mirroring and even if he does see it he refuse to acknowledge it. I can FEEL his ENERGY Shiifts...when he holds me and won't let me go, as he reaches for me and clings unto me in the still of the a man to a life raft..I KNow. Morning comes and he is different. Thank you for your posts
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  • 11/16/2013 4:14 PM Grace wrote:
    I stumbled onto the twin flame theory a few months ago. There's this man that I was never in a relationship with and yet I thought about him everyday. We went for over 3 years without any contact. Then, literally.... out of nowhere, he walks back into my life. It has been the craziest ride of my life!! I reunited with him last year for a couple of months, I got the chance to tell him that I love him. He ran. I was so confused about my feelings and wanted some answers. When I read about twin flames, everything made sense. But, I don't believe in reincarnation. However, the moment I looked into his eyes.... I knew that there was something special about that man. I knew instantly that he was going to have a big impact on my life. I was right. We are not speaking again at the moment. The pain is unreal. It kills me everyday because I feel like I pushed too hard again for a relationship. I've prayed on the situation and asked for signs. Ask and ye shall receive! Way too many signs to count. Not the 11:11 thing though. It's like everything reminds me of him. I always thought of him as a soulmate, but to think that he is the other part of my soul.... that's incredible. Dangerous too, I think. I say that because I fear I will end up alone. I have a hard time trying to connect with anyone else. Even people that have known me all my life don't understand me like he does. And other men bore me anymore. I have tried everything to move on, but with no success. I am focusing on myself right now, but I will always care for him. I kind of hate that I will always love him.
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  • 11/20/2013 1:52 AM Lea wrote:
    I feel your pain. I could have written parts of this. I've contacted mine a couple of times to no response so I probably won't do it again. What drives me nuts is the lack of response from him tells me he is torn. He has no trouble telling someone they don't have a future. I've seen him do it. The last time I sent a note I was almost hoping he would write back and tell me he moved on. He kept our relationship status on his page until recently, very close to the time I added back that I was in a relationship. He didn't realize and evidently still doesn't realize I meant him because I was trying to acknowledge the fact that I noticed hadn't changed things. I know mentioning it right now won't help. I need to continue to let him run. In the meanwhile I keep telling myself to move on and focus on myself. I've never had trouble walking away from a man until him. Now I'm hardly fit for anyone else. There is another man I love who says he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone other than his children. I just can't picture our future. Deep inside I picture the one who ran. I hope time will change things for me even if that means losing my feelings for him. I want to move on somehow. My heart just hasn't allowed it.
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  • 12/21/2013 4:41 AM Les wrote:
    My twin flame came back into my life three days ago and wants me to fly to see him in February.
    Oddly I had a feeling that something like this would happen and I even knew when.
    Really crazy.
    Reply to this
  • 1/4/2014 11:11 PM Anonymous wrote:
    Lea that is good new... I know all too well this journey can be challenging. I have not seen or heard from my TF since 11/23/13.. each day that passes, my feelings for him are not deep, Im not certain if i can continue this roller-coaster. Im new to this, I have never heard of TF.. didnt know exactly what it meant till I started doing research of my own. Keep us posted, good bad, or ugly. LC
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