Dating is a test of metaphysical mettle

I could tell SO many stories. Funny, sad, frustrating, hurtful, laughable.

Because my blog is mostly about metaphysics and living a spiritual/attuned life, I wanted to share some highlights that I’ve experienced during my full-bore fore into internet dating the past couple months.

Lesson one:  A spiritual basic.  Remember to breathe.

You will get excited, you will get pissed, and you will be confused.  The Dudes will say one thing and do another. Breathe. Feel every fascinating emotion.  Then laugh. Then punch something if you must.  Then let it go. And go back for another.

When your intuition tells you to ask a guy how current his pictures are, do it!   Use lightness and humor. This is not about pissing someone off or calling them on the oddness of their profile.  Just go ahead and ask.  If your gut tells you to, do it! The Universe will weed them out. Ask about his pictures and explain that in two of them he has brown hair and in four of them he has grey hair. Ask about the discrepancy.  Tell him you like grey hair (I do).  Do it with humor! But point out the discrepancy & ask about it! Try to make him laugh so he sees his profile from the viewer’s perspective.  The Universe will weed him out. If you’re meant to meet each other, he’ll respond favorably and will laugh at himself. Otherwise, the Universe will save you time & gas and he will never email you again.

Be clear. If somebody asks you what you “want” tell the truth. Say it in the most clear & concise manner you can. If you answer the question from the truth of your mind/heart and they hear something different, that is NOT your issue.  The Universe will weed them out.

On the other hand, if there is something deep inside you that you want and you do not communicate it, don’t be surprised if the dude(s) don’t pickup on it. Everybody has gut feelings and intuition. Sometimes they confuse that with “life experience” and “cellular memory” and “pain body” springing forth along with their damn testosterone, but still…if you’re not being honest with yourself, the dudes will be able to tell.

When you get close to 50 years old (my experience only- for heaven’s sake I’m not claiming this happens to everyone) if you date someone in your own age range and they like you, be prepared to be asked serious questions and asked to pony up to some kind of commitment somewhere between the 2nd and the 3rd date.  If you’re not ready to make a decision that quick, but the guy is impatient and demands an answer, the Universe is weeding them out.  Admittedly that one hurts. It’s hurt me twice now. As painful and shocking as it feels at the time, they are being weeded out.

You, the spiritual metaphysical person who listens to your soul’s inner guidance and who pays attentions to the signs and symbols the universe provides… you just show up! Be honest, be the best most kind and most genuine person you are capable of being.  Have fun!  Be ready for the human emotions that will come out- because they will, but be grateful to this amazing source of information… like a protective big brother coming to put his arm around you & help you walk away… walk away together… from something that is not the best for you.

I’m experiencing so many things lately.  Dating helps keep me grounded. It’s helping more than I can explain.  I hate dating. I really do.  I mean I hate the effort, the work, the ups and downs, the uncertainty… but the staying busy, the meeting new people & hearing their stories, is amazing. I am learning to hate it much less.

I have been told some of the most fascinating spiritual/metaphysical stories. People can’t make up the shit they tell me. I feel the truth of their stories via the shivers on my skin and through my inner most guidance.  That part I wouldn’t trade for anything. 

While I’m out creating a new social life, and continuing my metaphysical practice, and working to stay healthy and physical active, I think of Twin every day. It’s not something I am consciously doing or calling in. I don’t “try”, it just happens. I don’t dwell on it either. It’s simply there. I’m learning to comfortably incorporate our connection and at the same time go on with MY life.  Our connection is not severable and that is kind of a peaceful thought.  The simplest thing occurred to me last week:  Love and a relationship are not the same thing.  Love IS. You can’t create it, you can’t make it stop and you can’t go out and find it. It’s just there or it’s not.  Love is not the same thing as a relationship.  A healthy, mutual partnership…a relationship is what people call ‘work’.  Love is not work. It’s a natural way of being, experienced as both a soul’s connection and a human’s emotions.  A Twin/Soul Connection is LOVE of the utmost caliber. I am learning to respect and honor that fact while at the same time I am going out and living and experiencing the world and it’s people (men) again.  I’ve healed to the point where I am open to what the Universe wants to deliver to me. Or to weed outI

 I am direct, honest, forthright and as clear as possible with what I “want”.  Now let’s see what I will “receive”.


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  • 6/2/2011 1:24 PM Anna Barlowe wrote:
    Well, I certainly feel for you - I've been through all that myself in the past. You do run across some pretty interesting characters that way sometimes.

    But then you really only need one good one, so it's worth it to keep trying. Although ironically it seems like the right one shows up when you stop looking sometimes, doesn't it?

    My own Twin happens to be on the Other Side, so it turned out he was there all along! And when my corporeal boyfriend finally turned up, it was all I could do to avoid him. It was just the right time for it to happen.

    Best of luck to you! Can't wait to hear the outcome!
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  • 6/9/2011 10:53 AM SN wrote:
    "Our connection is not severable and that is kind of a peaceful thought." Moe, I have been struggling to move on in my life. I was the one who stayed. I think of him everyday. And now after years am almost at a point where I realise that perhaps I can't move on by hoping that one day the connection will be severed but by accepting that it is and will be there. Like you said "Love IS." And I feel this truth now more than ever before. I feel it in my soul.
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  • 6/11/2011 10:36 PM Donna H wrote:
    I have tried several times to date (a little) while waiting for Tim. I agree with you - it's rough. I finally decided (after a lot of soul-searching) that I am not supposed to date at this time. I can't deal with it.

    I'm focusing more on spiritual healing and my businesses. And my children. And loving Tim without expectations.
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  • 2/7/2012 6:26 AM Kelly wrote:
    Just commenting and agreeing with your last paragraph, where you talk about love.How it just IS and when it IS the REAL THING it does not require hard work. I've figured this out but my Twin still believes what most people are taught to believe: that you have to struggle and work hard at making a relationship work. That is just reality. I'm wondering if for many of the twins that run, they just can't allow themselves to believe that their relationship with their(staying)twin is real? And since they always seem to run just as things are so wonderful and happy - it's like their brains kick in and override their hearts. Because afterall if reality states that love and relationships are hard work, well,then 'this' can't be real then. So they have to sort of test it to see if it's real. Several friends have told me that if 'he' loved me he'd be in a relationship with me. They say it as if love is the same thing as relationship. But now I don't even bother trying to explain that he does love me, and that is why he runs away from me. The love his soul & heart has with me is simply way too much to jump into from a 23 year loveless and unconnected marriage. A marriage he 'worked hard at'and still failed. He needs to take some baby steps in between, while his trust in his feelings can develop. This is what I'm hoping will happen anyway. And yes the dating scene is hilarious. I've though myself of writing a book on that topic. So many funny stories. Yet none come close to the powerful connection we had. It really is like having to come back down to earth and date like regular humans do. Just like how the runners run off and date or get involved with other people in a more 'down to earth' relationship where they have to work hard at it. My hope is that eventually these runners will be able to match and blend their brains with their heart & soul and realize that the real deal - the real love is with 'us', their twins.
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